Can You Spot A Poker Donkey?

Author: Simon Dexter

Gobbs (yes, that’s his real name!) wrote an excellent post on his poker-related website about spotting whether you are a donkey. It made me laugh, maybe it will you too.

Let’s face it, we are all donkeys at times but how much of one are you? I answered pretty much yes to all of them!
1. If you’ve ever had somebody pay you to sit in a cash game … you might be a donkey.
2. If you’re nickname is Eeyore or Nemo … you might be a donkey.
3. If people get tired of you asking if action is to you … you might be a donkey.
4. If you have more chip covers in front of you than chips … you might be a donkey.
5. If your host assures you there is plenty of reading material to keep you busy between tournaments … you might be a donkey.
6. If people seek you out before tournaments to make last-man-standing bets with you … you might be a donkey.
7. If you can name every hand in which somebody sucked out on you because it doesn’t happen very often … you might be a donkey. (Think about that one.)
8. If you wear sunglasses to a $20 tournament, but not to the beach … you might be a donkey.
9. If your four-times-the-pot, river, all-in bet has ever been called by somebody with middle pair on the board, and you lost the hand … you might be a donkey. (He still doesn’t believe he has a tell.)
10. If you’ve ever used the term “positive EV” at a poker table … you might be a donkey.
11. If you’ve never used the term “positive EV” away from the poker table because you don’t know what it means … you might be a donkey.
12. If you’ve won more playing craps than poker … you might be a donkey.
13. If you’ve uttered the words “that’s how they do it on TV” in the past month … you might be a donkey.
14. If your favorite tournament is one in which they ask you “which color chips do you want to be” … you might be a donkey.
15. If the host offers players a cash reward to get you to play in their cash game … you might be a donkey. (And the cash reward was significant. I hope to collect it soon.)
16. If you’ve ever thought you scooped an O8 cash pot (Omaha Hi/Lo) and didn’t win anything because you forgot you have to use two cards in your own hand … you might be a donkey.
17. If people at the table are talking about PLO and you start talking about Palestine and terrorism … you might be a donkey. (I kid you not, it happened.)

Luckily, playing online poker with us means you don’t have to sit face to face against your opponent - so you can make a fool of yourself and no-one will know except you.

For all your poker needs, get playing at Littlewoods Poker.

Tags: Online Poker, poker jokes, poker players, poker stories

This entry was posted on Thursday, February 28th, 2008 at 11:12 am and is filed under News & Promotions Blog, Online Poker. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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