Poker Etiquette - Minding Your Poker P’s and Q’s

Author: Simon Dexter

Anyone who has ever set foot inside the hallowed portals of Monte Carlo’s landmark casino in Monaco will know it is a place where conversation quickly descends to a polite hush as you walk through the front door, a factor which always seems to have some influence on the outcome of the play inside. Appropriately dressed doormen are everywhere, meeting and greeting, directing guests, asking if there’s anything with which they can help.

The process is as comforting as the building’s welcome air conditioning, even in early autumn, designed to make visitors feel relaxed, because the casino’s owners appreciate that once their visitors loosen up, they’re much more likely to hang around – and sit down at a table and start playing poker or one of the variety of other games on offer. When you think about it, the business sense which advocates such an approach is, like everything else in Monaco, impeccable.

A few years ago, a book entitled The Gambler’s Guide to the World was critical of Monaco, suggesting the poker and roulette scene there was purely for tourists and because of this, there was little in the way of ‘gambling camaraderie’, often an important condition for a good game of poker. I disagree; away from some of the Principality’s less agreeable traits, a game at any one of Monte Carlo’s casino’s is invariably civilised and usually friendly.

This might sound a little odd – is there really a role for camaraderie and good manners in the dog-eat-dog world of high roller poker? Of course there is, as Monaco’s casino owners fully understand. Regular poker players should take note.

Decent players wishing to make some money from the game have a hundred things to learn, but even poker’s most aggressive exponents should find time to accommodate good manners. Okay, so it can act as a front, but it’s a great idea to make your opponents feel comfortable with your game, particularly if you’re a better player than them.

But does this apply when your regularly playing online? You bet it does. It may appear difficult to establish any kind of rapport with anonymous opponents who could be thousands of miles away, but chatting with them is, more often than not, a good idea. I have yet to come across anyone who enjoys losing money, but if your online poker opponent has a bad night but still enjoys the game, perhaps because he’s playing with regular names, guys who have been friendly in the past, guess what – he’ll come back.

Here is one of poker’s most wonderful paradoxes: players who are outclassed and are losing will generally remain in games for a long period provided they’re having a good time.

It seems odd that too many good poker players don’t recognise this. They lose out on maximising their earnings and drive inferior players away because they display poor table manners, or fail to engage in conversation when asked a civil enough question.

Playing poker like a gentleman, not a gangster, is another of the game’s myriad skills and thankfully, most of us are mature enough to recognise that this is one attribute we already possess. It follows that the improving poker player can make the most of his good table manners at times when those around him are losing their heads. Indeed, adopting such an approach can pay enormous dividends; you’re a name people recognise, they will want to play with you more frequently because you’re friendly guy. That is not to say you must play poorly or loosely, but as the saying goes, ‘good manners do not cost anything’.

It is quite common for players to come to a table already resolved as to how they’re going to act, convinced that their figurative stride towards the baize hoping to appear like a modern-day John Wayne will do the trick and petrify their opponents: “Tonight, Matthew, I’m going to be aggressive, play tight or bluff continuously.” But playing for profit requires you first to assess how other players think and behave and then adapt to their style of play, something which is difficult to do if you have rubbed them up the wrong way from the start.

Be flexible, be receptive and, like the guys in Monte Carlo, be well mannered because the returns can be significant.